Mary was abused by her sister, her new book explores her journey to freedom

My Father's Suitcase is a gruelling yet gripping true account of a type of family violence not well known or well understood - sibling abuse. It is the sort of book that after you read the last words, you find yourself delving back in to reread a chapter or a paragraph in an attempt to gain more insight.

The book is a raw tale of a girl who spent much of her young life in terror of her sister Anna's rages and sudden violent outbursts; and of an adult Mary seeking answers to her own emotional pain.

A deeply personal and heartbreaking memoir, the book will resonate with many readers as sibling abuse, in its various forms, is surprisingly common and not to be mistaken for sibling competitiveness.

Mary who has a PhD in journalism, writes about her life growing up in New Zealand in the 1950s and '60s, before making Australia home. She reveals complex layers of intergenerational trauma, including the baggage of her eccentric, deeply flawed father and the secret her mother kept from all of them, revealed only after her death.

The book examines Mary's search for understanding of the origins of her own emotional trauma, her own rage, pain and sadness; and how her sister's toxic behaviour had affected her on deeply visceral level. It also touches on the guilt and shame familiar to anyone who has had to deal with secrets, violence and 'madness' in their family.

Mary writes about the physical abuse she experienced for many years at the hands of Anna, the psychological abuse which lasted still longer, the ultimate betrayal by her sister, and the lack of support or protection she received from her family who instead blamed her for any conflict, making her the family scapegoat.

The physical abuse committed during violent rages included punches, bites and scratches and on one occasion involved being stabbed in the back with the point of a compass drawing tool. The spike narrowly missed Mary's spinal cord. Mary writes of another occasion when Anna smashed the bedroom door in with an axe, and the long-lasting terror which ensued.

In the author's note Mary writes, "I was surprised to learn that sibling abuse is by far the most common form of abuse in the context of family violence and occurs four to five times as frequently as spousal or parental child abuse ... there is a societal expectation that we should get along with our brothers and sisters. Be friends for life".

Speaking to the The Senior Mary said, "I've wanted to write this story for so long but I was so ashamed of the violence as a child."

Given the anguish Mary experienced it is extraordinary that, thanks in part to her writing and in part to therapy, she has obtained a degree of healing and compassion for her flawed sister who died in 2023 after a short illness.

Now in her 70s, living in Victoria near her daughter and granddaughter and working in the family business while still writing, Mary said she felt much lighter.

"It was a fantastic process (writing the book). The first draft was completed in six weeks. I think when you write you get a new perspective."

Mary recommends victims of sibling abuse report assaults to the Police and seek professional help.

Mary has also published Sundowner of the Skies a book about her father's flying adventures and The Serpent Rising: a journey of spiritual seduction plus numerous articles.

My Father's Suitcase, Northern Books, $34.99. Published from May 6.