WHEN Lorel Mayberry gave workshops to aged care providers exploring the sex life of seniors, many of them wondered why they were there.
“Many began by thinking all old people are asexual,” Dr Mayberry said.
“But by the end they realised that sexuality is an integral part of healthy ageing and their confidence and awareness was enhanced.
“Sex doesn’t retire! Many older people are both interested in sex and are sexually active.”
Dr Mayberry, a lecturer at the department of sexology at Curtin University, was speaking at a women’s breakfast organised by the Anglican Parish of Midland in March.
In her work she has encouraged carers to respect the privacy of elderly residents in aged care facilities.
“Some residents tell of carers that don’t knock or knock and then just barge in,” she said. “I say, if the door is closed, wait and allow people their privacy.”
Dr Mayberry encourages aged care facilities to think about rooms for two, providing two beds or a queen-sized bed, and allowing overnight stays, not just visits. She said physical issues did not always mean sex has to fizzle out.
Dr Mayberry highlighted ways of keeping sex going, including medication, sex aids and support cushions, and displayed diagrams on how to have sex after a hip replacement.
“We might have arthritis and our fingers aren’t so dexterous, or we have bad backs,” she said.
“One gentleman felt no one would want to be with him because he wore incontinence pads. But we all age and all our bodies change.
“We need to have these conversations and break down the barriers that prevent us enjoying intimacy.
“Sex is about so much more than procreation; it is about talking and relating and intimacy and snuggling.”
Dr Mayberry said the benefits included increased life span, solidifying relationships, giving refuge, improving physical health and enhancing mental health.
“We need to change our ideas about sex and ageing through education,” she said. “My university students might not have given much thought to sex and ageing but once they have been exposed to the topic many say they hope they are still having sex when they’re 90.”
